


Birthday Wish

by Synonym_Roll



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Birthday, Birthday Fluff, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, Character Death, Fluff and Angst, Gay John Laurens, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Not Happy, Poor Alexander Hamilton, The Author Regrets Everything, Wishes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 19:54:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13348368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synonym_Roll/pseuds/Synonym_Roll
Summary: The first of his birthdays spent with John, Alexander had only just turned nineteen. It was a rather unconventional celebration, all things considered, but looking back, Alex wouldn’t have traded it for the world...





	Birthday Wish

**Author's Note:**

> I know I've been gone for some time, and that I should be working on TLOL, but life has gotten in the way, and this story just had to be written in honor of A. Ham's birthday. 
> 
> NOT EDITED. I'll come back in when I've slept some. Apologies in advance. 
> 
> PLEASE LEAVE KUDOS/COMMENTS. I'll love you forever.

The first of his birthdays spent with John, Alexander had only just turned nineteen. It was a rather unconventional celebration, all things considered, but looking back, Alex wouldn’t have traded it for the world. He hadn't intended to celebrate: there was no one left who knew or cared that it was his birthday, after all, and he was too preoccupied with his classes to care about the passage of another year.

 

He supposed that he must've forgotten to eat that day, too absorbed in his work. Okay, maybe he'd forgotten to eat for several days. Usually, skipping a few meals didn't bother him, but his body decided he couldn't handle it anymore, and Alexander collapsed on his way to his political theory class. 

 

When he woke, it was to a steady beeping and a bleached, white room. He was on guard immediately, feeling nauseous at his own presence in the hospital room,  and he sat up,  looking around for someone who might have discharge papers. 

 

“Oh, good!” A sunny tenor voice drew Alexander's attention to the corner by his bed, where a nurse was turned away from a monitor, smiling. Christ, and what a lovely nurse he was:  long curls gathered into a loose ponytail, freckles splattered liberally across golden skin, sharp cheekbones, bright eyes, and a blinding grin. Alexander was momentarily struck dumb, and the man continued speaking. “You’re awake earlier then we'd hoped! That's fantastic. Okay, can you tell me if you're hurting anywhere?”

 

Silence reigned as Alexander shook his head and tried to remind himself that staring was impolite, no matter how attractive the other person was. Jesus, did he have a concussion or something?

 

A burst of laughter came from the friendly nurse, making Alex flinch, his face flushing with embarrassment. “No, no. No concussion, you're just a bit foggy from the dehydration, and the fact that you just woke up.” At that, the man’s smile faded some, and he brought out Alexander's file. He studied it for a long moment, his previously sunny expression turning near-stormy, making worry pool in Alex's stomach. 

 

Finally, he spoke again. “So… not to be rude or anything, but…” He looked up at Alexander. “Do you have something against healthy eating habits, or are you just a fuckin’ moron?”

 

Alexander's mouth opened and closed in disbelief, no sounds coming out. 

 

The nurse shook his head. “Don't bother to answer, it's the same thing either way.”

 

With great effort, Alexander cleared his throat and murmured, “I forgot.”

 

“You forgot?” Now it was the nurse's turn to be disbelieving. “You  _ forgot _ to eat or drink  _ anything  _ long enough for your body to shut down?” 

 

“It wasn't that bad!” Alexander protested, and the other man looked livid. 

 

“ _ Wasn't that bad?”  _ The nurse slapped Alexander’s chart down on his chest. “You could have died! Imagine if you'd been alone when you'd passed out! Imagine what it would have been like for whoever found you, like your girlfriend, or your parents!”

 

The elevation of the nurse's voice surprised Alexander, but his words just made Alex scoff. “Haven't got those,” he muttered. 

 

There was a stunned pause, and the nurse adopted a much softer tone. “You think that makes it okay not to take care of yourself?”

 

Alexander said nothing. 

 

The nurse picked up his chart again, scanning over it, and he hummed thoughtfully. “It's your birthday?” Again, Alex said nothing, and the other man huffed a laugh. “My guy. You nearly died on your birthday, from dehydration! You should be out drinking and partying and doing dumb teenager stuff!”

 

A small smile twitched at the edges of Alexander's lips. “Nobody to celebrate with, remember?”

 

Again, that thoughtful look crossed the pretty nurse's face before he was grinning again. “I'll be back in, like, five minutes!” He proclaimed. Then he was out the door before Alexander could really register what had happened. 

 

A deep sigh escaped Alex. Even his nurse didn't want to be around him! Fuck, and he was so pretty, too…

 

But, to Alexander's surprise, the nurse turned up again only a few minutes later, a chocolate pudding cup and a soda in his hands. He was grinning so wide that his eyes had wrinkled sweetly at the corners, and his teeth were showing. “What… what's this?” He asked, but he already knew. 

 

The nurse beamed and thrust the snacks at him. “Happy birthday, Hamilton!” He crowed, and launched into the song while Alex watched, bewildered, but smiling.

 

Alex mimed blowing out a candle to please his nurse, to which the taller man snickered and asked, “What did you wish for, Mister Hamilton?”

 

Alexander grinned back and cracked open his soda. “I wished I could figure out the name of this pretty, abrasive nurse who’s got his nametag on backwards.”

 

And for the rest of his days, Alexander would swear he'd never seen anything so pretty as the way his nurse blushed and fumbled to right his tag. “I'm not a nurse, I'm doing my residency,” he protested, though he was smiling. “And my name is John Laurens.”

 

Alexander had smiled back, and he was sure it had been the most perfect birthday he'd ever had, hospital notwithstanding. 

 

They’d become nearly inseparable after that, and for both his second and third birthdays spent with John, the two jokingly called it their anniversary. They never failed to end the celebration with chocolate pudding and soft drinks, though they stayed away from hospitals. It was perfect.

 

However, his fourth birthday with John was far from a light-hearted affair. It was when things changed between them, for good. 

 

John's life had been fairly difficult between their third and fourth year together. He'd come out as gay, to the horror of his father, who promptly cut him off and disowned him. He'd nearly had to drop out of med school, and the financial strain was unlike anything he'd experience before, forcing the prideful, independent man to lean on friends in ways he loathed to do. 

 

In the end, Alexander found himself with a roommate, an arrangement he hardly objected to, though it was awkward at times, with Alexander's growing attraction to John. 

 

The year was trying for them both, but it drew to a close and Alex's birthday came around again. No matter what was going on, they always made time for their silly celebration. 

 

John had worked three graveyard shifts in a row, in addition to his usual afternoon hours in order to get the evening off for Alexander's birthday, but he made it home by eight, with chocolate pudding cups and cheap beer in hand, a weary smile on his face. 

 

They drank for hours, both of them getting past tipsy by the time they remembered the pudding cup. Drunken giggles broke into the slurred rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’, but Alex didn't mind at all. He'd always loved when John laughed. In those moments, he wished he could just make John happy like this forever, keep him smiling and giggly and oh so beautiful. Alex blew out his candle, wishing.

 

When the candle light was gone and the cup set aside, still full, Alex found that John had shifted closer to him, watching him with a peculiar expression. “What’d ya wish for?” He asked softly, more serious than he'd ever asked it before. Alexander didn't like when John was serious. He preferred when John smiled.

 

Before he could stop it, words were falling from him. “Wish I could make you happy, keep you happy,” he whispered. “... keep  _ you _ .”

 

There was a heavy pause, and Alexander floundered, searching for ways to take back what he'd just said. But before he could say another word, shaky hands were cupping his face, and plush lips pressed against his own. 

 

The rest of the night passed in a heady, sweet haze, and when he woke, it wasn't to an empty bed and a heart heavy with regret, but rather to the warmth of John kissing his shoulder and holding him close. 

 

From then on, it wasn't just birthdays that passed like that, but nearly every day, and it was blissful. Of course they fought, of course they had issues, but they were happy. So, so happy. 

 

“I've always been so happy with you.” 

 

There was no response to Alexander's whispered words. 

 

“I love you so much, Jacky.”

 

Again, silence. 

 

“Come on, querido! It’s my birthday!” He was begging, pleading. “It's  _ our _ day. Come on…”

 

But there was nothing. No cheap beer, no pudding cup, no soft, sweet kisses. Not even an argument from his lover, though God knew Alexander deserved to be yelled at, to be fought with. 

 

He wished John would just speak, if only to give him something to argue against.

 

It was hard to fight with a headstone that wouldn’t, couldn't fight back. 


End file.
